I wanted to paint it lilac,
You painted it a mundane Cream..
I wanted to hang serenes,
You put up the pics of our wedding..

I wanted a Wall beside me, One who would stand by me-
Dealing with the things before they touched me!!
Here I am, left with the Wall I had asked for-
Echoing my sorrows back at me.

You had hugged me tight
I had quivered with fear
The Wall would tell all
How I’s held against…

As I now look at the Wall
It looks back at me…
I ask him what went wrong
And it dumbly stares back at Me..

I had stood like a Wall,
Sheltering you from the Storms…
You stormed past me,
Leaving me stood like a wall..!!



Read Post- My 1st Marriage Anniversary. I had typed this verse before typing that post. My mind had made me write this 1st before the details were typed. What I had gone through, my thoughts and the after- thoughts; is what that post talks about..

This is about Domestic Violence, torture and cruelty that remains to be an inevitable part of most marriages even now.

I, My Marriage, and the Wall. How I had wanted a shoulder to cry upon; I am crying alright.!! How I had wanted to adorn the relationship with pride; how its existence still haunts me..


This Post/Poem wins the The Perfect Poet Award for week- 29/September, 2010.

The Perfect Poet Award- Week- 29, September- 2010


The Wall had become my best friend ever-

Silently watching me through my tears

Here again- it returns to me all

A tremendous Fly after that sad Fall..!!


Other Awards

59 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kavita
    Oct 02, 2010 @ 01:40:31

    That last line was ULTIMATE!!! The perfect end for the poem (can’t say the same for the actual story though 😦 )
    The way you have written it, wrings out the emotions and feelings out of the reader! Very moving indeed!


    • Olivia
      Oct 13, 2010 @ 11:04:28

      Thanks Kavz.. I am glad you could read the essence that you always do..
      As far as the ending is concerned, the marriage is over. It had ended in December- 2007..
      All that remains is scar- not because of I may be hurt and all- but because of our Society and how this country is.
      No matter how much we change, India is always going to look down upon women- the majority of it!!
      I loved your words here 😀


  2. Trackback: Fabulous Treats In Poetry (Highlight of Thursday Poets Rally week 29 Poetry) | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
  3. Irene
    Oct 01, 2010 @ 06:25:46

    Thanks for sharing Olivia. It’s very ‘felt’. I like the glitter on your blog!


  4. Julie Jordan Scott
    Sep 29, 2010 @ 22:54:58

    Deep sigh. Lovely. Sad. Dark. Yet opening and strong. Very strong. Thank you.


  5. Jingle
    Sep 27, 2010 @ 01:05:17

    do you nominate one poet?


  6. lovelyannie79
    Sep 26, 2010 @ 03:23:50

    You honour your soul, and mine, everyone! when you write and share such authentic poetry. This is where true healing comes from…people like you, wounded healers (yep, you are one)

    I too know the reality of such violence personally as well as making the reality of it part of my career focus for several years.

    Thank you Olivia. You are lovely indeed ,

    congrats on the Perfect Poet award!!!


    • Olivia
      Sep 26, 2010 @ 13:06:40

      My Dear Lovely Annie,
      Now you know how I sensed your “Lovely” poem so deep. I guess it takes one to know one.. Those inseparable not so good instances apart, you are indeed a gem.. While I had kept thinking of going over to you and Congratulate you, you leave a big one here for me to read the 1st thing on Sunday at 12.00am..
      It feels sad when I read that you know “these” up close. At the same time- you write so brilliantly that puts the un-affected to shame. Such celebrations and such joys come only after having realized about Life and things in a bitter manner.. When we smile; we mean it.. And so, when you said this- I know you meant every word of it..
      I loved your words here and being associated with you too. Life isn’t that bad after all. 🙂

      Wishing you Loads of Love my Lovely Friend.. xox


  7. Jingle
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 20:19:32

    Lovely award poetry.
    you are a gem!


  8. Jingle
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 20:19:23

    Lovely award poetry.
    you are a gem!


    • Olivia
      Sep 25, 2010 @ 20:24:19

      Hi Ji, that happens to be a post only- please refer the actual post for details-
      Thank you Dear for that wonderful gift- on my weekend.. xoxox


  9. Trisha
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 14:09:00

    a beautiful and soul stirring poem. sad to know that you had to face this.


  10. woih
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 19:10:59

    I know this feeling, rather, it arouses an abandoned emotion.
    The pic reminds me of Loreena Mckennith(spelling?) music.


    • Olivia
      Sep 24, 2010 @ 19:42:22

      Wow Dennis.. you are so sweet.. yet another blogger has referred to some music by that name.. I am big I guess- LOLsss.
      You are right- there was a severe sense of betrayal and abandonment. A woman breaks down when beaten up- no matter however strong she may be physically..
      All’s over now.. 🙂


  11. almondjoycie
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 13:52:02

    What an amazing poem and an entirely perfect analogy. I hope your life is turning around. I’ve written poems about things that seems so insurmountable in my life, feeling purged of emotions unable to voice aloud. Rereading those poems later, I realize that I spoke my emotions well, and sometimes catch a glimpse of being a third person, spectator, to the issues written about. How did you feel rereading this months later?


    • Olivia
      Sep 24, 2010 @ 14:45:59

      Glad you came around again- I had written this one before pressing the post as mentioned in this post below the verse. I now feel so detached. Completely indifferent- I wonder how could I portray that pain so well (:P) I mean- I went through the actual incidence through all of 2004. Wondered how I could capture the emotions in 2010 and now feel completely indifferent..
      But then, that’s exactly I wish to do- become indifferent- Divine Desires.. 😀


  12. frayedges
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 04:51:56

    The last stanza has such impact. You have outdone yourself here Olivia. I hope for a bright future for you.


    • Olivia
      Sep 24, 2010 @ 09:39:46

      Lis Darling, you surely know how to make one smile- you have don that again.. Gurl someday soon I’ll write how I was so scared of this condition.. How after reading your work; I have over come my fear and inhibition.. Although virtually; yet, you have done something no one else could for the last 5 years now.. Loads of Hugs and Lovies. xoxox


  13. Bodhirose
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 04:26:19

    Oh, I felt the pain that had been endured. Very strong, emotional message told very well. I appreciate you sharing that.


  14. Rajlakshmi
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 01:21:52

    a very touching write…
    the last line is haunting… heartfelt poem…
    brillaintly written and expressed.


    • Olivia
      Sep 24, 2010 @ 09:36:23

      Thanks a bunch sweetheart.. plus the fact that I had tried to write something that has happened to me.. Loved your visit here Sweets.. xoxox


  15. Jingle
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 00:44:17

    thanks for the lovely comments, there are 6 fresh poet participants coming in, if you are free, offer a compliment to the 6 on top of my participants list, I appreciate your support.


  16. Shashi
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 22:50:15

    Very soft and emotional… liked it and share the pain…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya

    At Twitter @VerseEveryDay – Sharing few lines about love, longing and life


  17. wiserskydiver
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 21:58:13

    emotional overlay of your wonderful thoughts….. walled splat out by this creation of yours 😀 Cheers!!!


  18. Someone Is Special
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 20:25:39

    This is such a brillaint piece Olivia.. Nicely done.. Thanks for stopping by Few Miles and honoring with a sweet comment.. You made my day with those sweet words..

    –Someone Is Special–


    • Olivia
      Sep 23, 2010 @ 20:38:06

      … and you made MY DAY by saying so.. I am so honored to read your words on my Blog.. I couldn’t have asked for a better favor for the day.. I’m glad you came by… 😀


  19. thoughtsnotlost
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 18:59:29

    What a great expression of emotion and feeling. I also love your use of punctuation and capitalization to help make your point. Wonderful job!


  20. kyoichi
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 18:48:35

    in mtg, a wall always has the static ability of being a defender. it can’t attack.

    so that was a reality after all.


    • Olivia
      Sep 23, 2010 @ 18:54:46

      Dear, do link your URL too, how else do we traceback..?? 😀
      That’s right- a wall only stands. I used it to express my helplessness about the situation.. It was a reality that had stayed with me for a long time- not anymore..


  21. brian
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 15:22:27

    sorry you had to go through that…i deal with the aftermath of that in mot of my cases..particularly with children involvesd in it…no one should have to go through that…


    • Olivia
      Sep 23, 2010 @ 17:47:15

      The same was the case with my mom.. As a child (thank god- the only one), I m still fighting my own issues. They have been long casting their shadows on me. My complete thought process, social standing and even Legal standing has been completely marred- Thanks to our Judiciary.. The marriage is over but the hang- over is still on..!!

      I so appreciate that Brian.. Few people read what I mean- you have.. 😀
      Happy Rally Dear


  22. penelopephoebe
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 13:08:38

    Very emotional poem. Well written but so sad.


  23. Morganna
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 09:02:14

    I’m sorry for the pain, I hope things are working out better for you now. Thank you for sharing.


  24. CrbianFool
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 02:58:31

    Reminded me of Johnny Cash’s “The Wall” (which you might dig if you check into the lyrics) but I like how you changed the symbolism of the wall to reflect its changing meaning in your own life. Sucks ass that you’re going through tough times. There is no easy way. Try not to forget to laugh, it ain’t a panacea but put all that emotion into your wonderful poetry and at least you’ll have something from the experience. Being a new reader of your work, all I can say is I love nothing more than poetry with real human emotion, and you have that. Thanks for posting this rambunctious piece.


    • Olivia
      Sep 23, 2010 @ 09:15:54

      I will for sure- nice of you to have pointed that. My whole bunch of poems are that- based on human emotions.
      There were 3 years till about beginning of this year when I had turned into a complete recluse- not talking and meeting anyone..
      Now I have come to terms with it- that relationship is over. Splinters are still embedded here and there. Which is fine. They keep me alerted for any other relationship to happen.
      Thanks a bunch for stopping by and putting across your words.. 😀


      • CrbianFool
        Sep 23, 2010 @ 23:48:38

        Splinters & scars are the prizes of a daring life. (Funny how it never feels that way, but eventually everything changes.) Anyhow, just figured I would drop by to peruse. Keep in mind the same thing all of us idiot poets should always remember: When some stranger you’ll never meet reads your words and it makes their day that much better to see something beautiful created, you’ll still never know for sure. SO ACT LIKE IT! Take care of yourself & know you’ve created something beautiful. Whatever it took to get there is YOURS, forever. Keep up the writing!



        • Olivia
          Sep 24, 2010 @ 00:20:10

          Very true and yet very true.. what I mean is- what you’ve said is right and very much applicable to me.. 😀
          I connect pretty well with my readers and fellow bloggers- they have been a better friend than the real life people- strange but as I said- True.. I so appreciated your stopping by- and commenting so huge- touched..

          Wishing you a bright day ahead..


  25. Leo (Leonnyes)
    Sep 22, 2010 @ 23:36:12

    there are always walls in life.. and I guess walls do know a lot of stories too..

    My Rally Week 29 Post


  26. Jingle
    Sep 22, 2010 @ 21:39:37

    Happy Rally,
    love the back and forth narrate changes, very valid and touching sentiments…
    have fun!


  27. Jingle
    Sep 22, 2010 @ 21:34:45

    a wall knows everything, happy and sad,
    brilliant piece.


  28. RiikaInfinityy 마왕
    Sep 22, 2010 @ 21:30:59

    Existence can be such a important thing…I can related to that…:)~

    P.S Check ur FB Inbox, got some surprise for u XD~ 😛


  29. Trackback: Agreement 4 Thursday Poets Rally Week 29 Participants | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
  30. Trackback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 29 (Sept 23-29) | Jingle
  31. Trackback: Fresh stabs on my bleeding wounds | Olivia's Life Instances..

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