Day and night I’ve wandered my thoughts,
Of what I did and what I lost:
Of things I couldn’t take control of-
Grieving about the Mistakes I didn’t make.
Often I do look back-
On the things that happened then,
Those which’ve scarred my memories;
Making my Life even bitter.
I see myself as humongous misfit!
A strange woman wanting to only “live”.
Yet I was pulled; yet up again-
Off my roots, where I’d stood submerged deep.
They say Roots stand a tree;
They make it’s head held up high,
It takes the water and the soil-
Feeding the sapling into a shadowy relief..
I am so sorry: my roots are dirty,
It’s slathered with all that I was buried in!
No matter how much I tried to clean them;
My feet remains covered with the past chronicle.
As I write this, I feel it’s time
For yet another de- rooting and mud slinging routine.
I’ll lose all my little buds those were about to spring,
Making me naked and vacuous again..
I’m losing my strength with each passing day-
Losing my hopes of a glorified survival.
I don’t wish to give up at all,
As I have germinated even in a desert..!!
I have nothing to offer right now!
If at all, I would want to stand clean,
Try and bear some fruits if possible:
Wanting my roots buried deep within..
Summary: Two wishes
- I am wanting to sit stuck. Not moving anymore.
- Keeping my Past buried for all times to come. I am not embarrassed at how things have been. Infact I am vocal about that. But it definitely hurts when one pulls up the half baked truths to cover up ones own faults!
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