Bury Me Deep..

~*~*~

..

Day and night I’ve wandered my thoughts,
Of what I did and what I lost:
Of things I couldn’t take control of-
Grieving about the Mistakes I didn’t make.

Often I do look back-
On the things that happened then,
Those which’ve scarred my memories;
Making my Life even bitter.

I see myself as humongous misfit!
A strange woman wanting to only “live”.
Yet I was pulled; yet up again-
Off my roots, where I’d stood submerged deep.

They say Roots stand a tree;
They make it’s head held up high,
It takes the water and the soil-
Feeding the sapling into a shadowy relief..

I am so sorry: my roots are dirty,
It’s slathered with all that I was buried in!
No matter how much I tried to clean them;
My feet remains covered with the past chronicle.

As I write this, I feel it’s time
For yet another de- rooting and mud slinging routine.
I’ll lose all my little buds those were about to spring,
Making me naked and vacuous again..

I’m losing my strength with each passing day-
Losing my hopes of a glorified survival.
I don’t wish to give up at all,
As I have germinated even in a desert..!!

I have nothing to offer right now!
If at all, I would want to stand clean,
Try and bear some fruits if possible:
Wanting my roots buried deep within..

~*~*~

Summary: Two wishes

  • I am wanting to sit stuck. Not moving anymore.
  • Keeping my Past buried for all times to come. I am not embarrassed at how things have been. Infact I am vocal about that. But it definitely hurts when one pulls up the half baked truths to cover up ones own faults!

Related PostWho is smirking now..??

~*~*~

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19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. WordsWorthMillions
    Dec 25, 2010 @ 23:36:50

    ‘my roots are dirty,
    Its slathered with all that I was buried in!’
    Beautiful, Liv. Your images really fascinate me.

    http://wordsworthmillions.wordpress.com/2010/05/12/coaxing-the-sleepy-ange

    Reply

  2. Sumit Sarkar
    Dec 23, 2010 @ 03:18:22

    Full of deep emotions…
    I can feel what you are feeling..
    very well written 🙂

    “Wanting my roots buried deep within..” I have wanted too for a long time now…but nobody lets it…

    Reply

  3. The Reason You Come
    Dec 22, 2010 @ 08:22:38

    Very emotional; I can feel the frustration and hopelessness you must have been feeling when you wrote this. This is a good piece, that’s one good thing that came out of an ugly event in your life. Hope you feel better now!

    Reply

  4. A.B. Thomas
    Dec 22, 2010 @ 07:56:05

    wow – a sort of dark lurkiness feel to the it – loved it!

    Reply

  5. Jessica
    Dec 21, 2010 @ 14:34:58

    I love the image of ‘de-rooting’! Don’t we all wish we could start again. Great write, Olivia.

    http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/one-second/

    Reply

  6. tasithoughts
    Dec 21, 2010 @ 04:41:44

    There seems to be a place for tears in this piece and yet you write with a sorrow concealed in it and make it beautiful in a way.

    Moving…

    JP

    http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/fairy-dust-and-elven-song/

    Reply

  7. liv2write2day
    Dec 21, 2010 @ 00:41:30

    This made me feel sad. Think I’ll hop on a plane and fly to wherever you are and give you a big hug…okay, a virtual hug. It takes a lifetime to grow into who we are.

    My potluck: http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/sacrament/

    Reply

  8. Jingle
    Dec 21, 2010 @ 00:16:31

    smart words.
    love the way you nail it.
    thanks for linking…

    A++

    Reply

  9. Ramesh Sood
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 22:11:20

    Well, a nicely written poem this! Happy to be here.. fund something different..

    Reply

  10. Gigi Ann
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 21:08:24

    Very sad reflections. I hope things have gotten better in your life, and the tree is firmly rooted and happy.

    Reply

  11. Caribbean Fool
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 20:43:06

    I think I can get behind what you are talking about. Due to the manner life comes at us, we are rarely prepared for decisions we have to make nor the repercussions. of them. Still, to keep getting up in the morning in the hope that this might finally be the morning everything works out is the only sign of hope, and what the fuck else we got? lol, love the poem,

    crb.

    Reply

  12. Ina
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 19:45:07

    Good poem Olivia.

    Reply

  13. fiveloaf
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 14:29:27

    lovely thoughts olivia! mine’s here- http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/painted-hallways/

    Reply

  14. booguloo
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 11:45:13

    Bear some fruit and write! ..smiles..

    Reply

  15. soulbro*
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 11:10:25

    Great poem my Dearest Olivia as to be a tree is the greatest analogy to a human being always..as an apple tree was my teacher in learning who the Soul within me is….enjoy as well(+)
    Dom* 🙂 xo—{–@

    http://dom-bodhidharmafatherofzen.blogspot.com/

    Reply

  16. LeiffyV
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 11:05:04

    Well done, I am taken aback by how powerful and raw this piece is. You nailed it on the head though, sometimes the roots are not where they should be and prevent growth more than assist it. Another well done piece! Hope everything is well in your world my dear Olivia! Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  17. marousia
    Dec 20, 2010 @ 10:41:20

    Powerful writing

    Reply

  18. Hena
    Jul 26, 2010 @ 23:47:58

    Awesome…

    Reply

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