Image from Mag 136


Feather by feather wings clipped,
I’m falling like a failing bird.

Spiraling down against the wind,
I’m shooting like a falling star.

Broken twig blown away,
I’m floating like a dusted leaf…

Redundant thoughts buzzing in,
I’m drifting like an insane wit.

Memories clouding dark in mind
I’m fading like a retard cause.

Thoughts serrating every nerve,
I’m collapsing like a dead corpse.


Submitted for Magpie Tales



28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lyn
    Sep 27, 2012 @ 23:30:38

    “Like an insane wit”…love that! Bet you’ll survive.


  2. Heaven (@asweetlust)
    Sep 27, 2012 @ 05:30:06

    I want to float like a dusted leaf, not collapsing like a dead corpse ~

    Its been sometime, nice to see you at D’verse ~


  3. Ritva
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 22:18:36

    “Redundant thoughts buzzing in,
    I’m drifting like an insane wit.”
    Wooohooo! Magnificent!


  4. Magaly Guerrero
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 10:03:18

    “I’m falling like a failing bird” so much in that line. And I love the sounds of the other lines.


  5. Patti
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 09:06:40

    Down-down-down… Your words pulled me right into that vortex. Can I go back up with Brian? 🙂


  6. joanny
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 14:17:33

    You have a most unusual and gifted way of expressing the ordinary in a very sublime way. I was caught up in the free falling imagery well done, Olivia


    • Olivia
      Sep 26, 2012 @ 02:14:08

      Thank you beautiful! Mind can really do that, isn’t it? My insides were spiraling down and couldn’t straighten a single thought till this was done.
      Love xoxo


  7. Shers
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 12:28:25

    I’ve felt like that at times…oh yes. And I find myself ‘drifting like an insane wit’ more often than not these days too – lol


  8. Linda Fraser
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 08:39:18

    Once you are caught in that downward spiral, it is difficult to find a way out. I enjoyed the structure of your poem and the similes. Beautiful etchings, Olivia. Thank you for sharing.


  9. Helen
    Sep 24, 2012 @ 21:39:08

    This is the perfect piece of art for your blog … mind whirls indeed!


  10. Anthony North
    Sep 24, 2012 @ 12:59:43

    Melancholy, but an excellent take on the image.


  11. Tess Kincaid
    Sep 24, 2012 @ 00:52:47

    So evocative…well done Olivia…


  12. Christopher
    Sep 24, 2012 @ 00:43:04

    Yes, a tailspin of wonder
    ending as eventually all things must.


  13. Caddoc Trellis
    Sep 23, 2012 @ 23:23:59

    Insane wit sums up this picture – and me! LOL 🙂


  14. brian miller
    Sep 23, 2012 @ 23:16:12

    well this was rather like a spiral down through your words….think i want to go back up and be a feather on the breeze…smiles.


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My In- Mind Whirls Writes

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