Pictured Perfectly

Initial Thought

book-frame stands bedside
with you and me on both sides
stark togetherness.

glasses of our drinks
reflects the merry within
happy together

wonderful times those
blissful episodes of love
invokes countless smiles

tear trickles on frame
stains glass over our faces
cry smudges laughter

forlorn memories
of times of togetherness
stabs me often and again

Second Version

book-frame stands bedside
with you and me on both sides
burning autumn gold

glasses of our drinks
reflects the merry within
cherry trees on full bloom

wonderful times those
blissful episodes of love
chirping birds around

tear trickles on frame
stains glass over our faces
dense forest of snow

forlorn memories
of times of togetherness
wandering in dark

~*~*~

Linking toΒ Dversepoets.com

~*~*~

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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. A Rusty Storyteller
    Sep 29, 2012 @ 18:11:10

    You know you are a brilliant wordsmith! Need I say more? πŸ˜‰

    Reply

  2. Serena
    Sep 27, 2012 @ 08:57:32

    I really liked the first version… then I read the second. It’s hard to say better or best… that doesn’t really apply. But if you forced me to pick one… I’d say the second… it was a smoother ride a gentler tide a cool hand luke… nicely done

    Reply

  3. Anna Montgomery
    Sep 27, 2012 @ 02:00:13

    I love you gave us both versions. I admit to enjoying the nature references very much in the second version. Beautifully done.

    Reply

  4. tashtoo
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 18:17:01

    Wonderful, Olivia! You’ve done a fantastic job with this…especially love the finish of the final set in the second version. Bravo!

    Reply

  5. brian miller
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 04:13:37

    i like the first one the best…it is intense as those feelings are as well….when those moments have passed….

    Reply

  6. Mohana
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 00:45:08

    wonderful!!

    Reply

  7. Amanda
    Sep 10, 2012 @ 21:53:16

    awesome Haiku girl love the 4th Haiku in the second version so sweet

    Reply

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