Outcast

~*~*~

~*~*~

In order to fit
Into the definition;
I have broken apart
My only spine..

I slog now
Crawling through space
In hope to find
Some place to be.

I talk to self
Wishing for life
Only to realize
How wrong I’ve been.

Yet I scream
Left to be muted
By the wailing agony
Tearing my mind.

Dimensions collapsed;
Worlds have died.
My only dream
To live is lost.

Will I even
Get in parts,
What others possess
In inheritance?

~*~*~

Prophesied by a Nightmare!

I had slept at 1.30am last night. I didn’t doze off immediately. It must have been way past 2.00am before I may have fallen asleep. Yet, I was awake at 6.30 in the morning. I usually wake up late- by or after 9.00am, taking it easy since a month now. Soon it would be summer and it would be lit by 5.00am; so I enjoy the late mornings for now.

I had woken up completely disarrayed. It felt pretty warm for a foggy morning. My neck too seemed to be hardened. I had suffered of neck sprain for about 10 days. The pain was worse than the usual discomfort in the neck after we wake up in the morning. Maybe some tendons had ruptured. Although it was healed- it seemed more or less the same way. I couldn’t go back to sleep. That was way too strange. Usually, I wake up at 7.00 or 8.00 and then go off to snooze again- without even trying to.

~*~*~

I had dreamt of myself being posted somewhere in the open field- yet not exactly on the construction site, but very near to some office. There I had a couple of people reporting to me. I was the Incharge of that particular station. I felt thirsty while at work there and wanted to drink some; when I realized that we weren’t given the “filler bucket” yet. I had taken a huge offence to it. I had immediately wanted to know why the bucket was not handed over!

I had tried to look for a spare at the construction site. There wasn’t any. I had rushed to the office demanding for one. Nothing happened. I met some one who wanted to know what was the matter. While telling him how there wasn’t any “filler bucket” given for us and how we were unable to arrange for drinking water because of which; I had broken to sobs. I cried uncontrollably.

For crying out loud, it was only a bucket!

I woke up- disheveled..

~*~*~

I had just finished watching the movie and mocking at my maid for a few missing things. There, she then blurted out after a month that my old bucket that was filled with potted soil, placed under the staircase common area; was missing!

The ground-floor guys had made some construction repairs along the boundary wall only 2 weeks back. The bucket was placed in the stair- case area- not too far away from the actual construction area or my home at the 2nd floor. It was sat right in the middle space of both the spots (construction and my home)

It was a heavy iron-metal bucket from very old times. I had categorically sent my maid to get all the articles placed under the staircase area just after that incident. As she is- half deaf and rest forgetful; I ended up losing yet one of the things associated with my parents’ time.

  • I cried.

It then occurred to me- it was prophesied already!

Anchorage

~*~*~

At times I feel I’m left behind,
Farther away than time can bind-
A gone era to be read about;
Of glorious past, struggles n my fallout!

I’m now trying to bring in some order,
From where I’d become a recluse at border-
Nothing seemed to be working out;
It made a perfect sense to keep out!

A chain of events that had begun-
Throwing me off guard- making me run..
A nomadic life I now lead,
A piece of ground is all I need.

~*~*~

Submitted for One Shot Wednesday

~*~*~

What made me- how I am!

..

..

Did I ever thank you enough-
For all the trouble that you embedded on my ground?
Making me shiver like the tree,
All of whose leaves had fallen and withered..

Have I ever expressed my gratitude-
Towards you- for being so hostile?
For scratching my bleeding wounds,
-Till it left an ugly mass of pus behind..

Do you know how grateful I am-
To you; for pouring that poison in my vein?
Turning me into a venomous sting,
Wiping my Life out of my being..

I have become as resilient as a rock-
Shining like the brightest star..
I fly around like the careless wind,
Spreading my Mind all across!

..

The changed Me!

..

..

Tell me, don’t you recognize me;
Or my smile isn’t as contagious now-
Isn’t there that ring in my voice..?
Maybe because you haven’t been around!

You missed out on the occurring changes,
Those that Morphed me into a camatose-
One who breathes and sleeps alright;
But do not crave for the earthly needs!

How which way you’ve been to me-
Has woven Me into a beautiful ornament!
Carving its intricate pattern on my being,
Only to be praised by others; from a distance!

..

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