Mom’s Congratulatory Blessings..

June 3rd, 2010

I was just about to doze off. Had sat blogging for sometime during the day, have had dinner and my bedroom a/c unit had again given up on me!! I lay in the make- shift arrangement in my computer room. Both black n blank Computer Monitor and I stared each other for sometime.

As I write here, a fleeting thought came across my mind. Have machines really had developed an artificial intelligence now..? Being connected through World Wide Web, they may be all centrally connected and may be even be consulting each other like we do. May be, it was their artificial Intelligence that they made us to create WWW and now, utilize it to communicate with all machines all over and with us too. Computers may be after all the super intelligence who have not yet alienated (separated) themselves from us, maybe because they want to understand our psyche and approach and also to keep a tab on what next we maybe doing to our machines and tech..

Supernatural and Cyberspace (Virtual Reality) seem to be connected at a distance. We have just started to tap the Cyber space; maybe, someday would be able to explore and understand the Super- Natural things too. They are referred to as super naturals only till we don’t understand its state. Solid, liquid, gaseous and plasma are only the physical states of a matter. Thoughts and Mind are the Ethereal or the super- conscious states of a matter. That would be- only once we have discovered the potential energy in them. We do know that thoughts do have energies (will power, determination, dedication, mantra, recitation…), but to be identified as a form of energy; the substantiation would have to be met.

It seems that my thought is not being limited to a fleeting one any more and now is consuming my mind like a whirlwind. Let me go back to where I was trying to go off.

I tossed a bit and waited for the Sleep to take me to the super- conscious state; since in sleep, one doesn’t utilize any of its physical sense organs and hence, frees himself of being a mortal. A human is so dependent upon such senses being caged within them.

My Biopic Writes Blog had a series of comments under my biographical writes. I was pleasantly surprised to note so many of them overnight and scrolled down to see the volume. I scrolled fast, I had wanted to see the count; it didn’t seem to end. AS I kept scrolling, my mouse roll was stuck- upon a comment- it won’t move any further as if animatedly. I looked at the comment box; the image was as of an old photo- frame and yet, it seemed as if it was more like a live human face trying to speak and not a static picture. Now, that’s a paradox. The comment said- “Very well done, I like what you are doing. You have a lot more writing to do. I wish you All the Best; and Congratulations for making it till here.” The sound was as if echoed from around like a radio broadcast. The image was that of my mom’s, very young maybe of in her late teens!

I looked around and everything was same. The a/c hummed, the transformer box showed the IP/OP reading, and the scanner light was on. Maybe, I had dreamt of that or may be not.

Why did she have to appear in my Blog Comments to Congratulate me? Was she trying to make me feel special by making me read “her comments” on my blog; or is it that the computer linked to her telling her of my recent development and she in turn appeared on the switched off monitor to convey her blessings. I was still staring at the blank screen when I thought that I had dozed off. Mom could have appeared even otherwise like she always does, instead of appearing in my blog comments. I still can not say if I dreamt of that- since, it was nearly a live experience that I had underwent.

It was after a long time that mom had spoken to me. I don’t feel scared; on the contrary, feel very relaxed and sleep tight. I did, after that.

Either ways- Thank you Mom.

Afternote- Just as I had published this post, a WP video had popped up as if to celebrate My thoughts.

My (Mom’s) Red Lipstick

My Lone Baby– Ma was next to me on the bed and about to doze off. Some movie played on the television next to the bed. The room arrangement was not very familiar to me- the house seemed different, we never stayed in such arrangement. Mom’s handbag was what I was fiddling with; a small mirror case, a red lipstick and some- makeup set cases. I was waiting for her to snooze off while I kept trying to see the color of the lipper..

After a long wait and my constant trial to peek at the boxes one by one, she tossed to my side and fell asleep.. a perfect time for me to finally lift up the lip crayon and check the shade. The small plastic wrappers rustled by her side, damn that would wake her up, she too slept as lightly as I do. I did finally manage to check- and it was a brilliant red- somewhat of a Revlon Burgundy (that I actually had used for some years, before I had developed lip allergy and stopped applying lippers and switched brands). Infact, it was better than that- the texture was oh so smooth and not sticky, it glided just so well- that’s right I dabbed the applicator tip on my pout. As I looked myself at the mirror and thought, that how nice it was of her- to have finally “changed” to buy a lipper for herself after she had started working; I woke up.

My Dream ended.

How so ever badly she had wanted to be independent; she could not be. She was made to slog her entire life in service to my dad and uncle. By the time I was born, she had lost it all; within 6 years of her marriage itself. She was never let to join any work, she was a Textile Designer just like me- (co- incidence) and had always wanted to work and be financially and emotionally independent. Fate had something else in store and because of me- her only child, she was bound in obligation or relation or feelings or all of these, to stick to her ever growing helpless situation. I mean, how healthy is it that dad and uncle never spoke with each other? And that a small child gets to witness that and understand the fact- and is to never insist on getting “her family” seated all together or talking?

Ma had never applied a lipper before because she was guilty of stealing one in her childhood- she was fascinated with that container lifting itself up with windings. I had seen that metal case; it may still be lying in the buttons box. I had managed to deck her up a few times but never insisted on lipper; lip gloss she had gladly applied. Her face was full of pox marks and that was another reason why she shied away from getting “made- up”. She had been pleasantly surprised when she noticed that the foundation had taken all the marks away at least till the application lasted. We were invited to Parul’s younger brother’s 1st birthday; I may have been in 6th or 7th maybe. That was the 1st time she had let me dress her up, and yes, she was glad. I was very young then and I understand that now; but people’s compliments to her says that I must have done a great job and for my age. Ever since then, she had let me do all that “jazz” to her for the socializing events. She would patiently sit till I would smear her face and neck with various applications and do my magical wand upgrade. I would make her drape the “pallu” in certain manner. I had noticed tears in her eyes when I did that the 1st time.

I was able to make her see the point and make her apply the forbidden lip- stick a few times before I was left alone to buy my lip- colors on my own. I wish my mom were alive.. Besides anything else, I would have then adopted her as my daughter and doted on her the way she could not on me because of her own physical and health limitations. I would have let her explore some work possibilities whatever her health would have allowed and take her to the fanciest of the handbag shops and definitely made her as much independent as I am if not more.

A Book is an open window..


* She said- A Book is an open window *

An open window lits the room,
No matter however gloomy it was.
Letting in the ray of light-
Vanishing all the darkness within.

One may remain within confines;
Yet be exposed to the things happening..
A Book teaches of a subject,
Light- the existence of an object.

You stand next to one,
Watching the serenes:
You see the Sunrise; the mark of a Dawn,
A trail of the horse- cart, even when gone..

I now write- to create a Window..
Would take long; but, one- I will..!

It would no longer matter then-
That I am locked up in a cell..
For that window would be my floor;
Opening me out- as a Door.

It would let the passersby 
discover me hidden deep inside!
The Window would then compete with the walls,
Standing Me strong- opposing them all.

I’d be set free of all the pain;
The humiliation, the anger, the disgust n the hurt..
Marking a beginning of a new life song-
One that I’ld sing with everyone along.

My Dear Mom, bless me again-
I’ve only started, the way’s far stretched.
I promise I won’t give up till I’m done;
I’ll adorn my victory- they’ll say “I have won..”

..

My Dear Mom,

This is what you often said when I was young- it’s your song I am singing here..
Since a last few days now, I have been wanting to Change My Destiny yet again! I now wonder, is this what you had always wanted to tell..? Did you know I’ll take to writing apparently..? Is this why you talked about a “Book” so often..? Did you want me to understand that My Writes will open me up from my captivity..? Liberating Me eventually?

Love

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This Post/Poem wins the The Perfect Poet Award for week- 31/October, 2010

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Other Awards

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Submitted for Magpie Tales

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My In- Mind Whirls Writes

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